What Causes Toddlers Crying

Toddlers crying could be caused by many factors. Be it surroundings, emotions, health, medication or pure tantrum and sometimes heredity. Yes it's true...it's in the genes. Toddlers crying comes in a variety of sound ranges too. Some shriek, scream, wail, sob and some sounds like a howl with a yelp at the end followed by banshee like screams. It's an ear piercing performance. Toddlers crying however is normal. Any one would love to have a very calm and serene child  but  that would probably raise a concern too.

Being a parent, we are naturally concerned why our toddlers cry. We can't tell for sure why toddlers cry but most of the time it's a normal issue related primarily to their development. However, persistence crying in between short intervals are best  investigated or referred to your physician. 

SO, WHY DO THEY CRY?
Attention

Sometimes, crying toddlers could only be demanding your attention which could be impossible at times. Fixing a meal, mopping up spilled juice, doing laundries or when you're on the phone to a fellow tortured soul, he will start calling out to you in his unique way. This demand could  easily escalate into a tantrum if there's a newborn sibling for instance. Feelings of threat and insecurity starts to creep into him. Imagine having 3 kids demanding your attention all at  once. I take my hat off to all the strong parents out there. You are head and shoulders above many of us.

Toddlers crying for attention should be soothed and calmed and never yelled at. Picking him up or putting him on a high chair where he could see you would do. Sit him on your lap while on the phone. They get bored easily so be aware that he might cut your talk short . If you have more than 1 child and need to run errands from time to time, it's best to decide on a sitter at Care4hire. They are a specialist on many forms of caring and nursing services. 

Frustrated

I bought some ready to assemble DIY furniture sometime back. I got home all excited and started the assembly but somehow some joints would not just would not fit (I'm sure they gave me the wrong items..I strongly feel so :)). Screams, curses and horror overcame me when it ended up as an abstract sculpture of who knows what instead of a folding chair. Feel like crying? Well, that's how frustrated toddlers get when they can't fit a square into a circle.

Hurting
Toddlers cry when they can't express themselves too. Especially when he's sick.  Since his speech and vocabulary are not fully developed yet, he finds it frustrating when he's unable to express his feelings or intentions to you. Just like us parents get frustrated when we can't sing out that tune of a familiar song.

Help your toddler out. Show him why squares don't fit into circles. Take a wild guess of what he's trying to express. Ask questions. "Does it hurt?" "where does it hurts?" or get a "Yes" or "No" answer. Sooner or later you'll get his drift. By the way, if you can't sing a tune, don't risk it on your toddler. The wailing might get worse. 

Hunger Pangs

For adults, when hunger pangs strikes anything edible in sight will be gone in a blink of an eye. Unfortunately for toddlers there's a tiny problem. All they could see is your knee and it's not appetizing at all. There's nothing edible at his eye level. He might just be hungry but can't express it in words. Click Here for some kids recipe ideas.

Keep some healthy snacks in handy for these moments and in between proper meals. Sliced fresh fruits such as apples and bananas are fine. A little fancy and nutritious...how about yogurt with applesauce or pureed fruit, cut bagels with various soft creams spread, yogurt dip with bananas, string cheese is a big hit. Just beware of choking hazards and allergies. Here are some links to some fine articles on toddlers snacks 

http://www.ucsfchildcarehealth.org/pdfs/healthandsafety/healthysnacksen060604_adr.pdf

http://kidshealth.org/parent/nutrition_fit/nutrition/toddler_snacks.html   

Separation Anxiety

Often related to babies but some kids are just late bloomers. He might go through it later between 18 months and 2½ years of age. If he don't see you, than you're gone and he goes ballistic. Assure him from time to time that you're around. Progressively train him to be comfortable without seeing you. Talk to him when you're out of his sights. It'll get them off from clinging to your sore legs sooner. They will eventually outgrow this behavior and the worst will overcome it by around 3 years or so. 

Fear of the Dark

Even some adults still do...I do...sometimes. But toddlers don't have the benefit of understanding their surroundings and they can't sooth themselves nor be self-assured. So turn on the lights, draw the curtains...let there be light.

One night I was visiting my sister who has 3 children and we're having a nice conversation while the children were minding their business in the living room. Then a blackout occurs. Before she could say "stay where you are!" the house was filled with crisscrossing wails, shrieks and screams. I can't make out a figure in the darken house except for banshee like screams and shrieks passing  by me from all direction. By the time we lighted some candles, we found them scattered all over the room crying with a bump or two. Always get an emergency light installed in your house to avoid such occurrence and mishaps. It doesn't cost much and is breeze to install.

Here's a very parctical site to start child proofing your house. A wide variety of innovative and simple child proofing designs.

Fear of Potty

Many toddlers fear the dreaded hole in the chair. They'll cling to your hands with their legs carried up reminisence of our primate cousins. It could be fear of falling through that gaping hole or flushing the toilet may have scared him from wanting to sit on the toilet for fear of being sucked in...baby guess. It takes time to potty train him and there are many Training Aids that works. All it takes is perseverance. 

Just plain GRUMPY

When he's tired and sleepy he gets grumpy. When he wakes up, he feels grumpy. Chances are he'll cry on both occasions. Do not disregard his feelings, he is learning how to cope in different situations and need our help to translate it for him. Ensure that he gets enough rest. Rest has very significant influence on a toddlers growth and development rate. A comfortable bedding and room settings are one of the factors for a childs good rest. Get some ideas and samples from a kids specialty bedding and room decor company.

Independence

Yes some like it early. Try showing him how to play with his Magic Beans toys while he's engrossed in it. Some toddlers will not even let you touch it and will show strong insistence of independence by crying. At the end of the day when they can't seem to put it right their way...they'll cry anyway, frustrated. Sometimes it's best to let nature takes it course.

  

Nightmares

If he's crying while he's asleep, chances are he's having a nightmare. Unlike me whose nightmares are triggered by the mortgage bills, toddlers nightmares are mostly a result of mental and physical development. Sometimes it is caused by scary vision seen on TV or simply experiencing bad sensations while asleep. Comfort him. It'll provide a sense of security and calmness until he falls back to sleep. 

Tantrum 

Well this is common and the most dramatic. Shrieks, screams and wails are sometimes accompanied by knee level flying objects. The best thing to do is ignore. Ignore the tantrum that is and not the toddler. Keep him in your sights but avoid being sucked into his ploy. Patience and deaf ears are good traits for a parent at these times. Postive parenting is a modern day parenting skills. Gone are the days of spanking and yelling. A preferred method by parents today as it encourages the understanding of values by communicating rather than fear and punishment.

Headaches and Migraines

Yes they get it too. If he cries often and indicates pain in the head, be cautious. Check for bumps and bruises. Check his medication as well. Some child medication could induce headaches and migraines. Cries accompanied by vomiting are possible signs of severe migraines  which could be caused by medication, stress, environmental or early signs of sinus. Whatever it is, get a physician's advice. Here are some helpful articles on child headaches. 

http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/aches/headache.html

http://www.drgreene.com/azguide/headache 

Crying toddlers comes as a parenting package. It benefits both ways. While we provide nurturing, educational and personality development to him, crying toddlers teaches us patience, to be a better listener, provider and above all, Joy.

Be a positive parent. Happy Parenting.



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Parenting Discipline Toddlers

Any parents will readily admit that toddler parenting is daunting and a formidable test of patience. The non-stop interrogation of what's this and what's that is enough for  you to pull your hair out. Having them running around banging on pots would make you grit your teeth sometimes. And when they keep pulling out that dog’s hair, uuurghh! you couldn't help feeling sorry for man’s best friend. At the end of the day you’re left physically drained with the occasional bruises and bumps. 

After all that chaotic melodrama, he’s still the motivation to face another day of mischievous and amusing antics. During this stage of his life that discipline needs to take its roots. A child will inevitably grow up a reflection of his upbringing anyway. There are a lot of discipline for toddler techniques available but none would be tailor made for one child. 

Discipline and Punishment

In trying to discipline toddlers, keep in mind that toddlers are in their transition stage. Learning things by touching is crucial for them, so make your household childproof for a start. Have patience of steel. We will need this most as toddlers are very keen repeating the same questions or doing the same annoying things. Above all lead him with parental love and affection.

 

One day a man took some time off work to spend time with his aging father. The man pushed his father's wheelchair onto a garden and they sat there. A robin landed among the branches and started chirping and the father asked the son, “what’s that bird son?” the old man asked “That’s a robin dad” the man answered. After a while the robin chirped again and the old man asked, “What’s that bird son?” the man answered “It’s the robin again dad”. No sooner the bird chirped again and the old man asked his son the same question. The son took a deep breath and said “It’s the same bird dad" 

The robin again sang feverishly and with all excitement the old man popped the same question, "What's that bird son?". Annoyed by the same question the son said "I've told your three times that it's the same bird. Stop asking the same question". The old man pulled his head up and said "I missed the days when you're growing up. I'd come back and throw you on my shoulders and we would run out back to watch the birds. Do you remember?" The son sat quietly. The old man continued, "You asked me the same question time and time again from the moment you're on my shoulders till your ma calls out for dinner and I never got tired of answering you. I was just happy and proud to teach you."...

 
Don't mess with this cutie...:)

Discipline and punishment are different things altogether. Discipline is a teaching based on communications and relationship. Punishment on the other hand, is simply based on unpleasant consequences of actions.

Instilling discipline for toddlers teaches them values which is of course our goal. Think of it as molding their minds from an early age to differentiate good from bad. It involves communications and this naturally promotes closeness and trust between parent and child.

Excessive use of punishment on from an early age will convey a different message. Toddlers grow up thinking it's still acceptable to do negative actions so long as their not caught . Punishment takes on many form but whatever it is and if the situation warrants, it's very crucial to explain to your toddlers why such action was necessary.

Some parents do punish their kids without explanation except for phrases like "I told you not to do that...!" But toddlers are naturally inquisitive and its up to parents like us to explain our actions. I grew up in an environment like that and sometimes i wonder what happened if mom did not stop me. I never did what i did anymore not because I knew the values but because I'm terrified of being punished again. 



Even if there's no set of fixed rules to discipline toddlers, there are some effective methods that's applicable to most.

Praise and Encouragement.

Studies have shown that parenting toddler discipline with praise and encouragement yields higher positive results compared to punishment. Try catching them doing something right and reward them with praise and encouragement rather than catching them only when their wrong...like we always do. 

Rephrasing

Toddlers are more likely to response to softer approach. Even as adults, aren't we all? So instead of sounding like corporal punishment barking orders around, rephrase. Instead of "get that..." bring me..." "don't do that...", try "would you....please?" or "could you...please?". 

Substitute and Distraction

When your toddler is doing something you don’t approve off, for example banging on pots (which really annoys me), try substituting pots with an appropriate object with less noise. If that doesn’t work, distract. Get him to draw instead of hitting objects. Toddlers are fascinated with visual effects especially when they’re the one doing the effects. Or simply do a silly dance...it'll be good for your aerobics i must admit. If your tots tends to pull the dog’s hair out, just don’t substitute the dog with a cat. Cats have less patience.:)

Ignore

Sometimes this works best. Unless if it's in a busy supermarket and every eyes are on you as if you've committed a crime until they see him rolling around the floor clutching a pack of cheese balls...happened before? Ignore. In order for this toddlers parenting technique to be effective, its crucial to have everyone's cooperation. It's hard to pull off when granny's around though. 

Offer choices

Allow your toddler to make choices occasionally. For example, get him to choose between a ninja turtle or barney shirts when giving a change of clothes.This will provide him a sense of control and appreciation. It promotes trust and you will have less power struggles. He must however be made to understand that sometimes there is no choice but yours. Do not compromise safety. 

Time Out 

Time out is a very effective toddlers parenting technique. Some might interpret this as punishments but it all depends on how it's executed. Pick an isolated spot within your scope of vision in your house and face or sit him facing the wall. Keep in mind your goal is to drive home the message that he has committed something unacceptable and to give him time to reflect and regroup. After your time out, pull him aside and ask if he understood why you did this. If he does, then all's good and you've achieved you're goal. If he does not, then it's our duty as a parent to get the message across. 

When you're instilling discipline for toddler, try to avoid this...

and these :) ...

Corporal Punishment

Spanking and caning, the favored discipline technique of yesteryears. For parents it will provide instant results. Message received LOUD and PAINFULLY. It shows who's in control. Your request will sound more like a command and attended or obeyed with no questions asked. Life's easier. As a children discipline technique, it might result in mental/physical scar or distress. Obeying without questions will hinder their learning process. Punishment instill fear instead of respect and resentment instead of affection. Its not uncommon to hear grownups still traumatized by their childhood punishments. It's not forbidden per-se but always ask yourself whether the situation warrants such punishment.

Raising your Voice

It's not uncommon i do admit. We are only humans and toddlers parenting does test your limits. However I try to avoid this altogether. Raising your voices on every instant a child does something wrong will lead your child to believe that it's the way to get messages across. They will mimic your actions and probably will grow up yelling to everyone that's got in their way. I dread my child yelling at me when he grows up. So start early and avoid raising your voice constantly as it will render your child parent deaf. 

Giving in to tantrums

Patience required and for once we act deaf. Giving in means you lose, they win. If they figure this out and they will, what's stopping them from doing it in public or to your friends. He might be thinking "I won my mom over, I can win with this...." funny but it's true. Avoid giving in to tantrums and save yourself being in some awkward situations.

Keep in mind though that in parenting discipline toddlers, your communication technique is important. How often did you find yourself asking your child these "What did I tell you the last time?"..."Do you understand what I just said?"..."What did I just say?".  

Many times over and if it could be measured, I said mine twice round the globe. And what about that repeating questions. How often does he ask you what's that hairy thingy hanging down the dog's backside or what a mobile phone is while hacking your recently laminated floor with your brand new Nokia?  It's frustrating at times I must admit and  it makes you want to run head on into a wall.

What keeps me sane from their re-run question is the fact that toddlers are naturally inquisitive. However there are communication techniques that could help not to eliminate repeated questions but to effectively get the message across.  So instead of asking what a dog tail is (...what did you think it was :)..)10 times over, they will stop asking at the 5th re-runs or less. So keep in mind, the best discipline technique is only as good as your toddler communication skills. 

Toddler parenting could be anything but a punishment. It's a wonderful transition period for them and we should be proud and happy to instill values and mold them to the best of our limited abilities as parents. There's no one set of fixed rules to discipline toddlers but when in doubt, here's what I found to be helpfully truthful to me and I hope for you too.

• KNOW YOUR CHILD – only you can

• SEE WHAT THEY SEE...and

• BE A CHILD YOURSELF

Happy parenting...here's one last video I like to share with you, my favorite. Toddlers can be brutally honest.... :) 
 

Talking to toddlers - free audio tip